Disbelief

by Jen on December 9, 2012

Not being religious, it’s often difficult to declare miracles, but pregnancy, whether an act of divinity or biology or luck or a combination of all three, can really only be described as such.

People GROW people!

I swear it.  There is a person who will one day make decisions and friends and love GROWING inside of me.

I promise I didn’t just figure this out, but each day it becomes more unbelievably believable.  Each morning, his movements become more deliberate and profound than the last, and yet I feel more and more in disbelief as the shapes and motions of a real live person form in my imagination.

Yesterday morning, I woke up and rolled from my side to my back and instinctively placed my hand on my abdomen.  My normally solid stomach was mushier than usual setting the perfect stage for me to identify the hard lump amidst the mush as my son’s butt.  Or maybe head?  But I’m going with butt.  Careful not to startle him out of position, I “subtly” walloped George in the head to get his attention.  We both touched on my stomach as if it oozed brilliance, and eventually, our baby repositioned and disappeared into the mush.

I’ve felt his flutters and tickles and even brutal kicks, but I’d never been able to trace an outline of his body against my own skin before.  Amazing.  And one of those things that makes this all so miraculously unbelievable.

He’s approximately one foot long and weighs nearly two pounds.  That’s like a super bulky Subway sandwich!  In my guts!

I’m forever in awe of this experience.

I’m 24 weeks pregnant today!

And despite the magic and wonder of this experience, I’ve started to fall victim to some of pregnancy’s not-so-fun side effects.  My hands and feet continue to swell.  I’m needing a Tums or two each night before bed.  The stretch marks are taunting me.  I got my first charlie horse in the calf that sent me into a loud yelp in the middle of the night.  And the amniotic fluid I swore I’d been leaking has turned out to be pee.  Yep.  Pee.  I’ve been peeing myself all day every day and didn’t realize it because my urine is so diluted due to my hyper-hydrating in an effort to replenish the amniotic fluid I wasn’t leaking.

Phew.

You have no idea how happy I was to learn I’d been pissing my pants!

Amniotic fluid, you stay put.

My OB instructed me to find a maternity belt to “lift” the pregnancy off my bladder a bit, so after some sound advice from my Facebook panel, I’ve made a decision.

Can’t WAIT for the comfort of a bra for my belly.  Good times.

No matter, I wouldn’t want things to be ANY different!  Growing a person is a privilege.  I am honored to have this opportunity.  Even if it means I pee my pants for the rest of my life.

Amen.

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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Alison December 9, 2012 at 8:18 pm

YAY!! 24 weeks is awesome and amazing and I know what you mean about being able to actually FEEL parts of their body. I used to be able to feel Scrumplet's feet or hands when he would move. It was beyond awesome.

You get your wish, you WILL pee in your pants postpartum too. Something about weaker muscles down there, damnit. Kegels schmegels.

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2 Bonnie December 9, 2012 at 8:24 pm

You look beautiful Jenn! I am so happy for you! Your post had me laughing out loud as usual and I can't wait to see you next weekend!! SO EXCITED

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3 kim December 9, 2012 at 8:32 pm

:) just makes me so happy!

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4 Tammy Bartelson December 9, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Well, if you AREN'T religoius now, this experience just might make you that way. It is truly a miracle to make (grow) life. AND…isn't it amazing that each week that passes of the pregnancy is marked on a SUNDAY?? Hmmm? Can you even imagine Mary giving birth to her son in a BARN, on HAY, under scrutiny, in the cold with no pain meds? She did it out of love, same as you are. With pee pants, charlie horses, heartburn, vomit coated shirts, stretch marks…..out of love! Love you, Jen!! So happy you are going through all of the above!! And REALLY glad that you appreciate it! So many mothers don't! So proud of you!

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5 xlmic December 9, 2012 at 9:38 pm

One thing that I swear helped the feet swelling and end of the day fatigue was a pair of thigh-high compression stockings. You can get super awesome prescription ones that are the best and very expensive…or over the counter ones that work pretty darn well for about $40-50. You look LOVELY!!!!!

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6 Rach DonutsMama December 9, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Peeing your pants? Let the good times roll! I used to get the worst leg and foot cramps. It was awful. I'd forgotten about all that!

Congrats on 24 weeks. You look awesome!

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7 Sarcasm Goddess December 9, 2012 at 11:32 pm

Yay for peeing your pants!!

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8 euregirlsandboys December 10, 2012 at 5:42 am

Yay for 24 weeks! And that feeling of how unbelievable it all is just keeps growing. I still stare at the kid whose almost my size and say that I can't believe we made her and she came out of me. And the giant boy? It was a crazy feeling to see his giant body at almost 10 pounds and know that I managed to grow it and get it out of me. Unfortunately I think every woman whose ever been pregnant has thought her pee might be amniotic fluid :) Glad that's what it was! And I wore a maternity belt for about half of my last pregnancy when I remembered – and it really did help.

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9 Kimberly December 10, 2012 at 6:49 am

OH 24 weeks!! The time is flying and that wee one is growing leaps and bounds and letting you know by kicking the crap out of your innard junk. Loved that. It's weird knowing that you're creating something so awesome.

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10 Shannon December 10, 2012 at 10:26 am

WOOHOO 24 weeks rocks! You just have the best possible attitude about it all and I love watching your journey! Smooches from Tally!

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11 jual baju muslim December 11, 2012 at 1:12 am

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12 Karen December 12, 2012 at 1:07 pm

This is wonderful!
I had to laugh at the peeing thing mainly because at 38 weeks I thought I was just peeing myself but it turns out my water sac was leaking and I was in early labor. This didn't happen with one kid but both of my kids. Guess they like tiny leaks rather than one big gush? Who knows. :)
I'm glad for you and Henry that it's pee though. :D

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