Oh Boy!

by Jen on October 9, 2012

All my life, I thought of you.
And wondered who you’d be.
Will you love animals,
and writing just like me?
Or will you prefer to read,
and follow sports just like your dad?
And will your very first dachshund be
the best friend you ever had?
Or will you paint new pictures?
And not be our little clone.
Will you find new interests,
And be a person all your own?
Maybe you’ll have his blue eyes,
Or brown just like mine?
You may be rowdy or reserved;
And either way is fine.
Although we’ve not met you yet,
we are enamored by your charms.
You have one great big family,
waiting with open arms.
And today we got exciting news,
and feel like we have won.
Today we found out we shall be,
the parents of a son.
                                          -Jennifer E. Bruno

Well, that’s that.  A boy!  We are going to have a boy!

We had no gender preference whatsoever, although as soon as I saw his penis on the ultrasound screen, I felt that things were exactly as they should be.  I teared up on the table, as our unclear future gained a little focus.  I feel fortunate beyond all measures, and want nothing more than to raise a strong, healthy, compassionate, tender, loving, contributing, and intelligent human being.  The opportunity to try is an honor greater than any I’ve ever been given before.

I’ll be honest, if Bodhi would have been a daughter, naming her would have been far simpler.  Boy names are HARD!  George and I had three or four girl names in our back pockets just waiting to declare.  Boy names on the other hand???

Crickets.

Thank goodness for a long gestation, I suppose.

I’d love to have the opportunity to parent both genders in my lifetime, however, my history of infertility leaves me feeling so completely grateful for this experience that I won’t get ahead of myself.  Little boys are special.  Little girls are special.  Children, are very, very special.

Rayden came into my life when he was maybe two and I was maybe twelve?  “Technically” he became my stepbrother, then my ex stepbrother, but “realistically”, he’s my brother.  Like blood.  No two ways about it.  And when he came into my life, my laundry baskets were graced with teensy super hero underpants and my bedroom floor became an obstacle course of tiny figurines and Matchbox cars that would cripple me daily.  And with all that, the most unforgettable, most remarkable, life changing part, was that no one had ever looked at me the way he did.  No one had ever made me feel so important and so valued.  Those eyes could change the world; his warmth on my chest changed my world.  And truly, the power of little boys never evaded me.

And ever since, my world has been flush with special little boys who make the world a better place.  You know Caleb and Noah?  And Easton?  And Spencer?  And Jayden?  And that’s just a  small example.

Bodhi will be no exception.  I’m sure of it.

Our son is already lucky in more ways than I ever imagined.  He’s loved by people I have never met in person, and people I’ve not seen since I was in grade school.  His family has been rooting for him long before he was ever conceived, and his parents aren’t taking a moment of his existence for granted.  But the luckiest part?

George is his dad.

That’s a pretty cool thing.  Clearly, I’d not have fallen in love with George and married George had I not had high hopes for his parenting chops, so I am biased.  But regardless, I can’t imagine a greater role model for any child.  Bodhi will be who he will be, and I know that.  But with any luck, he will inherit the things that make my George great.  I hope he observes the selfless way he treats me and his own mother.  I hope he learns to work hard and play hard.  I hope he copies George’s values in his friendships and responsibilities, and I hope he tackles his dreams with the same carefully planned, but curiously spontaneous gusto that spark George’s senses of adventure.

The longer I am pregnant, the more I realize how little faith I actually had in ever being pregnant.  I’ve lived the last 15 weeks feeling that at any moment, I’m going to wake up realizing I’ ve been dreaming.  For 15 weeks.  I used to say that I knew I’d be pregnant some day, I just didn’t know when.  But now, I know I was kidding myself.  I didn’t really think that. I thought my charmed life was going to hit a reproductive road block, and I’d never know what it meant to see the results of our genetic combination in the eyes of our child.

But today, my fetus is no longer a fetus.  He’s our son, and we’re going to meet him some day.  And he’s going to be healthy.  And happy.  And perfect.  For 100 years or better.

I’m not dreaming anymore.  I’ve not experienced any bleeding since Friday morning.  Not a drop.  I got to watch our baby curl up and stretch out and wave his arms and cross his feet and move his mouth for almost 20 minutes on ultrasound the other day.

I bought a onesie and stuffed monkey rattle.

That’s pretty official, right?

I am so lucky.  And so grateful.

Here’s to another 24-ish weeks!

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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Crystal Weber October 9, 2012 at 2:57 pm

You know I am completely biased, but I am so over the moon happy for you both and I know you are going to make amazing parents. Little Bodhi could not have been any luckier than to get you and George as his parents!! I can't wait to see his sweet little face and I can't wait to see all of the blogs about all of his firsts!!

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2 mamamash October 9, 2012 at 2:59 pm

I am so thrilled that you get to experience life as a boy mom! You think you love George NOW? Just you wait. Oh, my heart cannot fit in my body when Monkey runs to his dad when he gets home from work, launches himself into his arms and yells "Dada HOME!!"

So, can I have your girl names? Cause THOSE are hard. Geez.

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3 Alana K October 9, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Good thing I keep tissues at work! So happy for you both. My sweet little nephew is outgrowing his clothes by the second so if you guys want some gently used clothes in excellent shape, I am happy to ship them up there to you. There's nothing like the love of a little boy.

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4 Rumour Miller October 9, 2012 at 5:55 pm

So exciting! Congratulations!

We had the name Ronin tucked aside in the event we were ever blessed with a boy. That didn't happen so feel free to use it 😉

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5 Kirby DeHaven Woods October 9, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Thank you for making us all part of your beautiful journey. I remember you and Rayden when u lived across from us….u had a special bond and u are an awesome sister and I have no doubt u will be a fabulous mother! Thinking.of you always 🙂

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6 Nadine Ochs October 9, 2012 at 6:42 pm

What a beautiful post and so very heartfelt. Little Mister is going to be so loved and blessed to have such loving parents. I am sooo very happy for you and George, a great father is a very important thing in a little boys life, my son has one, and now he is the father of two boys and the daughter this mama prayed he would have. LOL But a mom is just as important, and you will see just how sweet little boys can be. All the best to all of you and his beautiful arrival in March. 🙂

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7 Barbara MacArthur October 9, 2012 at 10:56 pm

This is so beautifully written and reflects so many of the thoughts and feelings I have had–being a mother of boys. I have been carefully watching for each update and hoping, hoping the best for you and George. I somehow feel attached, based on a good working relationship, all of us knowing what a Jayhawk is, or some unknown connection. I send love to all three of you.

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8 Tammy Bartelson October 10, 2012 at 12:33 am

What a fabulous tribute to the love of your life! I am so glad that you found your George! He is, undoubtedly, the BEST person in the world, FOR YOU, TO YOU and WITH YOU!! You BOTH will be amazing parents! Love you Jen! And I know I love GEORGE, too!!!

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9 Kimberly October 10, 2012 at 1:01 am

Welcome to the land of grime and giggles. Raising a boy is wonderful…the clothes shopping selection sucks…but everyday is an adventure. It really is.
You love him already but you're going to love him so much more when he comes to meet you. He'll always be yours.
I am so happy for you.
Welcome boy child…you have a friend named Chunky in Canada who wants to hang out and destroy dinky cars with.

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10 Jane October 10, 2012 at 10:55 am

Jen, your words made me cry. At work! But I'm so, SO happy for you. Our battle with infertility, our long wait for a child, and finally our first IVF gave us one perfect, beautiful baby boy. My love for him literally makes me lose my breath. It makes me choke up every time I think about it. And I can't wait for you to feel the same thing. Congrats on your little boy!

And yes, boy names ARE hard! 🙂

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11 Runnermom-jen October 10, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Hooray!!! I'm so very VERY happy for you!! Boys hold a special place in their mama's hearts (as do girls, but it's a little different).
xo

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12 Tammi October 11, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Yay, You have an amazing story that I have been following. I think my favorite visit at the doctor office was finding out the sex of my own children, there is something precious about finding out. I remember that visit placing even more excitement and love in my heart. Sons are so much fun (as are daughters), Congrats to you and your husband!

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