Moving to New York City may as well be compared to moving to Jupiter. Life is incredibly different here. Transporting from one place to another is different. Laundering your clothes is most often outsourced. Methods of grocery shopping change. Recycling policies vary. Dog walking is an art form. Dressing for the day becomes more purposeful and methodical. And, obtaining the daily forecast before you dress for the day is almost as important as brushing your teeth.
I did my research before our move. I spent hours upon hours reading my trusty Not For Tourists book, I frequented Time Out New York, and The Village Voice. I found really helpful and inspiring information from other sites, like Become A New Yorker, New New Yorkers, A Cup of Jo, and New York Daily Photo. I immersed myself like I was studying for the Bar, and still, I’ve found several other NYC “truths” in my first three weeks as a New York City resident that I may not have been prepared for. (Can you believe it’s been three weeks, by the way?!?!?!)
- You will develop an intimate relationship with your shower curtain. Showers in New York City are scaled to the size of the apartments. Our apartment is itty bitty, thus our shower is itty bitty, THUS I am molested by the shower curtain (which is only half the size of the rest of the shower curtains in America) the entire time I’m attempting to scrub subway scum off my body. In 2011 B.C. (or, “before city”), I was nearly sickened by the surprise brush of a wet shower curtain on my skin. Now, it’s unavoidable. Gross, but unavoidable.
- Carry cash. It amazes me the number of restaurants in The City that are “cash only”. Also, would you be surprised to know that many businesses in our neighborhood accept checks? Strange, right? Cash is the desired and often required method of payment, plus, you will need tip money from time to time, no matter how stripped down you intend your NYC experience to be.
- Get a fingernail scrubber. At the end of each day, my fingernails are nasty. I don’t know how this happens. I have yet to play in the dirt in New York City, and I wash my hands like a fiend here, so I’m not sure where this filth is coming from.
- Check and double check. There is NOTHING more frustrating (and more likely to happen) than forgetting your keys/phone/wallet/metro card in your apartment, and not realizing it until after you’ve already walked down three flights of stairs. This has happened to me. Nine hundred times.
- Modest? Forget it. The City is too awesome, too active, too pretty to have your shades drawn. I stand in our windows all the time, appreciating my surroundings, and most often I look down and realize I’m not wearing pants. This concerned me for the first week. The third week, not so much.
- An inch is your best friend. Space is a valuable commodity in New York City. You will need to be aware of every available square inch in your apartment. And you will also need to carry a tape measure when you shop. If this makes me a dork, I’m a dork.
- Welcome disturbances. Most likely, your neighbor will smoke weed like Snoop Dogg. And then, he will have XBox parties with ten friends, (how in the hell does he fit that many people in his place???) and they will yell like they are actual players on Madden’s field. You will feel like you are in the same room with them, but that will be perfectly fine because it’s a reminder that you live in NEW YORK CITY. Bring it, neighbor.
- Au naturel is au mazing. Getting gussied up is for Los Angeles and Atlanta. New York City welcomes a more basic beauty. Sure, there are parts of NYC that are a bit more fancy, but I can’t afford those parts anyway. Phew.
- Fountain soda is gold. It’s as rare as a solar eclipse. Stumbling in to a cafe with a soda fountain in like hitting the mother load. Most likely, the restaurant will only serve cans. For $3 each. Shit.
- Take a stand. Many restaurants are so small they don’t offer seating (unless of course you are paying $20 for your burger).
- Prepare for a flood. I enjoy long pants. My pants always drag the ground, and I’m afraid in New York City, I’m going to need to give in and have them altered. The sidewalks of The City are toilets for dogs, rats, bums, pigeons, and drunk dudes, so unless I wanna continue marinating my jeans in that, I need to find a seamstress. STAT!
- Communicating is complicated. I’m having some trouble adjusting to how I will verbally communicate with the outside world while I’m in New York. I used to do all my calling from the car while I was driving to or from the office. Now, I have no car (and no office, but hopefully that will change soon), so my commuter call center is closed for business. I spend a small number of hours each day in my apartment, so I now try to stay in touch with my friends and family outside of The City when I’m walking the dogs. But even then, it’s a distracted, noisy, winded, somewhat complicated time to talk on the phone. “Go potty, Millie.” “Wait, girls.” “Okay, let’s cross!” ”Stay!” ”Don’t eat that!” It’s complicated. But all other times, I’m popping in and out of stores, subways, or buses, leaving very little time for quality conversation. (Don’t worry, grandma, I’ll get better!)
So, there you have it. My “truths” from the first three weeks as a resident of Jupiter… I mean, New York City. I fucking love this place!
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
That's a really honest take on it. I enjoyed reading it.
WHEN you come to visit (I'm stubborn) you will hate our shower. The curtain gets all up in your business. So awkward.
No fountain soda? No debit cards? Checks accepted? What year is it there, 1970?
I love visiting NY, but I always feel filthy and germy there, so I understand. Glad you’re so happy!
SERIOUSLY! The (totally awesome) lady who we take our laundry to didn't make me pay the first time. I didn't realize she wouldn't take a debit card and that was all I had. Anyway, she let me leave with $30 worth of laundry and said she trusted I'd pay her when I saw her the next time. I brought her a check the next day like it was no big deal. I didn't expect that. Also, George says he forgot his wallet one afternoon when he went to get a soda from a food truck outside of his office and the guy gave it to him on the honor system. Parts of NYC are like the "olden days". So strange.
Hah! So true! Esp. About the fountain soda and cash! & I was just talking to amanda and ryan about the miniscule size of my shower in my old apartment!!
We've just about mastered how to keep the curtain from blowing on us, but it's taken some experimenting. I HATE THAT FEELING.
Also, another thing we do (that I'm kind of thinking you might do too) is search for a totally dead restaurant. This might lead some people to believe the food is crappy, but after a day of feeling crowded, I'd take bad food over one more second of feeling smothered. 
yes! not as bad in queens though .. we also use opentable to make reservations at places we want to try that look like they're usually busy! super easy + free!
I like finding new people to the city. I’ve been in NY almost 4 months and I agree with some stuff. Shower curtain is so dead on. But I disagree about the getting gussied up. I’m from LA (never been to Atlanta) But people in NY are fancier than LA. Unless you are going to a movie premier, LA is so much more laid back in style than NY. People in LA don’t wear fur anything. Not like NY.
It is nice to see the perspective of NY from a new NYer like myself.
You are right. I see fur everywhere here. So odd. You moved here from LA? We are from Florida, so my thin blood is taking a beating in this cold.
Also, I tried to go to your blog (I guess I'm just assuming you have one) but clicking your name just takes me to your Intense Debate profile. If you have one, leave the address in a comment.
NYC is my dream city! If I were a childless woman I would move there in a heartbeat.
It was/is my dream too. A year ago, it was just a fantasy. I still can't believe we live here.
I feel awfully lucky.
Glad you are having such wonderful adventures…except the $3 cans of pop, and no fountain soda? That's rough. Totally worth it though
I guess the cans of soda are supposedly a space saver since the restaurants are so small??? This doesn't seem like it would be true, but I can't figure out any other reason. The good news? I'm drinking a ton more water than soda. I had to be forced out of the soda addiction and $3 sodas did it.