My Mother Loves Me

by Jen on January 21, 2011

Today’s Challenge:
Hemingway was famous for his super sparse writing. He used almost only dialogue in many of his works. Write a piece in which you use ONLY dialogue. (Visit The Red Dress Club to participate.) 

“Did you read my post today, mom?”

“No.  WHY?!?!?”  She sounds horrified.

“No REASON – just asking!  Geeez!”

“Sometimes I just prefer not to read them.”

“WHY?!?!?”  I laugh.

“Because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what new “thing” you are telling the whole world about.”

“Like what???”

“I don’t know, Jenni.  I just think some things should be PRIVATE.”

“Like what?”  I laugh again.

“You KNOW!”

“No mom, like what?”

“I don’t know… like STUFF.  I mean, you blog about your period for crying out loud!”  She’s pleading.

“What’s wrong with that?”

“What’s WRONG with that?!?!?  It’s gross!  I mean, poor George!  Don’t you think you’ve embarrassed him?”

“Uh, no.”

“Well, what if his friends were to read it?!?!?  Do you really think George wants his friends knowing when his wife is… on her period???”  She lowers to a whisper.

“Mom, I’m pretty sure they all know I have periods.  And, his friends are some of my most loyal readers.”

“Oh my GOD.”

“Mom…. WHAT?!?!?  What is so wrong with that?”

“Nothing, I don’t guess.  I just feel bad for George.”  So passive aggressive, that woman.

“Don’t feel bad for him.  He’s fine.”  I giggle.

“Well, and then you are always talking about sex and stuff….”

“Mom, I’m not posting porn.”

“I just don’t like it.”

“I know, mom.  That’s why I asked if you read today’s post.”

“Oh god.”

“It’s not BAD.”  I’m hysterical.

“Can you just keep some things to yourself?  Please.”

“Sure.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Mom, it’s not a big deal  I don’t have anything to hide.”

“I know, I just wish….”  She sighs.

“What?  What do you wish?”

“Well….”

“Mom, WHAT?”

“I just wish you’d break your fingers.”

She’s awesome.  🙂

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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Betsy January 21, 2011 at 4:33 pm

Curious…was this dialogue written, texted, or what? Cause that's a lot of words for the silent girl! =)

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2 Jennifer Bruno January 21, 2011 at 4:50 pm

Hahaha, good question! This actually occurred about two months ago and I've been threatening to "out" her for the "break your fingers" thing. 🙂 Perfect opportunity!

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3 kimberly rae January 21, 2011 at 5:22 pm

hahaha i love it!!! & for the record i don't think your posts are too much at all! also i really appreciate that in the post before this you said "hoootiiee hooo" bc i've been saying it all the time lately and i have no idea here i got it from!!

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4 Ericka @ Creative Li January 21, 2011 at 5:59 pm

Love this. I write about my period all the time on my blog. Although my mom's a big fan. Which kinda worries me now. 🙂 Saying hi from TRDC!

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5 AP January 21, 2011 at 6:42 pm

You are about eight steps ahead of me…my mom doesn't even know about my blog, although I did write about her today. I don't know if she'd laugh or smirk away in embarassment. Anyway, Happy ICLW!! AP

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6 Nancy January 21, 2011 at 6:52 pm

Very funny! Poor thing don't you dare break you fingers!Visiting from the blog hop. I'm so glad I found your blog.Enjoy your weekend.Nancyhttp://discoverdirectselling.blogspot.com/

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7 Kelly January 21, 2011 at 7:04 pm

Ha ha! Mothers! (rolls her eyes)

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8 Carrie January 21, 2011 at 7:52 pm

Well, if that isn't the truest expression of motherly love I don't know what is :)Visiting from RDC

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9 Cheryl January 21, 2011 at 8:12 pm

That's hysterical! My mom reads my blog and then wants to have discussions about the posts.I'm all, "You read it. Nothing else to say."GAH!

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10 Jennifer Bruno January 22, 2011 at 5:25 am

Kim – My BFF has "hootie hoo" as the one sentence blurb "about her" on her FB profile (or at least she did before all the profile changing business). But, I also read your post about that. Just a good phrase. Keep it alive, girl! :-)Thanks to everyone else for visiting. My mom and I are soooo similar in so many ways. My public displays of "everything" make her cringe. I used to feel kind of bad about it. Now it just fuels my fire. 😉

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11 lowfatlady January 22, 2011 at 5:52 am

First off, love the puppies in your banner. So cute. Secondly, LOL. I think my mom knows I blog, but I won't let her read it. I would feel weird. She knows most of the details on our if though. Love your attitude about things.

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12 Stephanie January 22, 2011 at 11:28 am

LMAO. My mom is more diabolical then that. SHe'll wait til she sees me in person and be like "I read on your blog that you aren't sticking to your diabetic diet. YOu know how important that is." or something else along those lines. Very realistic. Love it!

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13 MultitaskMumma January 22, 2011 at 12:01 pm

hahahah!!! GOLD!

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14 From Tracie January 22, 2011 at 12:49 pm

I wish you'd break your fingers!! That is hilarious. My mom is not my biggest blog fan either. Maybe it is a mom thing.

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15 Mrs. Gamgee January 22, 2011 at 11:06 pm

Hilarious! And exactly why I haven't invited my mom to read my blog. :)ICLW

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16 Victoria KP January 23, 2011 at 5:39 pm

Funny stuff! My 20-year-old niece writes a blog that gets a little "colorful" sometimes. In one post she said that she'd stop talking about a particular topic because it had come to her attention that her mom reads her blog. Her mom (sister) commented, "If your mom reads your blog, she deserves what she gets". 🙂

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