Armed, Temped, And Dangerous

by Jen on January 11, 2011


Dear Mom, 

I know you hate it when I air my monthly laundry.  I know you hate it when I use certain words that might insinuate I was raised by truckers… in a strip club… in Tijuana.  I know you want to make sure the blogiverse knows that my mama raised me right and with the notion that some things are meant to be private.  I know some of my phrasing and subject matter can make you shudder from time to time.  I know all of these things.  I also know that you will love me – even after I’ve discussed the following.  (Are you nervous?)



Let’s Begin:
Okay,  I feel better having gotten that out of the way.  What I don’t feel better about it starting my period today.  Yo, eggs… we were hoping to fertilize one of you this month!  Did you not get the memo?  Check your in-box, dip shits!  I’m crampy, acne ridden, and have a vacant uterus.  
It was not for a lack of trying.  This was my first month of “temping” or BBT (basal body temping).  Word on the street (also known as proven science) is that charting your basal body temperature every morning when you first wake up (before you pee, before you check e-mails from your Blackberry, and before you pet your snuggly wiener dogs) helps you determine your ovulation dates.  If your body is “normal”, you should experience a rise in BBT the day after you ovulate.  Therefore, combining historical BBT data with peeing on ovulation predicting sticks should give us an even more specific idea of when we are amidst our most fertile window.  Up until now, I’ve just peed on sticks.  Lookout next month!  I’m armed, temped, and dangerous.
This month’s arrival of my period wasn’t as distressing as last month.  I didn’t feel like this was our month – even before it began.  I’m not sure why.  I’ve learned a lot about my body over the last nine-ish months.  I’ve gotten to know her much better.  I’m continuously trying to fine tune my receptors so I understand the physiology of what’s goin’ on inside, and for whatever reason, I knew this wasn’t going to be my month.  To be honest, I’m not feeling very positive about next month at this point, but I’m hopeful that will change once the dark cloud of menstrual cramps lifts.  
I’m not negative.  In fact, I am one of those people who knows that eventually, all of this is gonna work out for us.  Maybe we will get pregnant and have a baby on our own with eyes like my husband’s (note to the baby makin’ elves:  I would be extra grateful if our baby inherited George’s eyes), or maybe we will find our baby through surrogacy or adoption.  Either way, I’m excited, eager… ready.  It’s ridiculous how quickly time flies.  It’s ASTONISHING how fast a month passes when you are trying for a baby.  I can’t believe it’s approaching nine months for us.  I have made friends with so many infertile women who have been trying to conceive for years.  Hear that?  YEARS.  It’s like an impossible science project for them.  Makes my guts hurt.
The good news, however, is that a great number of my infertile friends are finally finding themselves on the positive end of the stirrups.  They are inspirational to me.  So determined, these chicks – many of them with problems far more severe than my own.  I can’t thank them enough for helping to educate me, for supporting me, and for giving me the invaluable feeling of hope. 
The beginning of your period marks the beginning of a new “cycle”.  Today, for the purposes of having a baby, is considered Cycle Day 1.  Celebrate!  So now ensues the task of temping, charting, counting, calculating, and gettin’ it on.  (Do you think that once we finally do have a baby, they will be embarrassed their parents kept a public record of “doin’ it”?)  Nah.  Our kid’s list of “times my parents embarrassed me” will be far too long for this to even rate.  That’s going to be so fun!
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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

1 MsBabyPlan January 12, 2011 at 12:55 am

Hello girl, nice positive post. That's is how I am keeping myself motivated too. I hope your wishes come to reality soon :)!.Good luck :)!


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