Taking Off My Pants

by Jen on October 15, 2010

This is me.  I’m lying on the imaginary black leather couch while you serve as my cyber therapist for hire.  Okay, not “for hire”, but maybe “pro bono”?  I’ve got a war raging inside of me, and the only way to work through this is an emergency session with my blog shrink.  Yep, that’s you.  We clear?

I think we would normally start out this therapy session by discussing the injustices of being an only child, my irrational fear of lizards, my disdain for chipped toenail polish, and my bed making handicap, but instead, I wanna shoot through the BS and get to the meat and potatoes.  (This introductory drama is a bit off-putting, isn’t it?)  

Here we go.  I started this blog with the intention of keeping my own private journal to continue to record some of the “innermost, not made for public consumption” sort of material; however, I’ve slowly broken up with my private journal because my affection (also know as addiction, but who’s judging?) for my public blog has grown.  I spend enough time feeling guilty for choosing my blog over my laundry pile that keeping up two journals seems ridiculous.  Buuut, in doing so, I’m failing to document one very important aspect of my life that I hope to never forget.  My love story.  I write about George tons, and even compliment him regularly, but in my private journal, I used to write all about the daily hum drum occurrences that made me love him more every day.  I fear losing my street cred by blogging about the cutesy stuff, but trust me, behind closed doors, there is a ton of baby talkin’, inside jokin’, and candlelight dinners for four (we have wiener dogs, remember?).  Privately, I adore George more than really smelly blue cheese, but publicly, he can often be my comedic punching bag.  I’m not sure why, but I’d prefer you think he does all the sweet stuff and that I just take it in, skew it to make myself look “hard”, and hang the poor bastard out to dry, bloggy style.  🙂  (By the way, George proofs just about all my posts for me before I publish them, so he knows what he’s in for before the words hit the web.  He’s pretty incredible.)

I don’t know why the need to make it look like I wear the pants, but I don’t.  I am fascinated by George.  He’s absolutely, 100% the most “made for me” person on this planet.  I think part of my disdain for BDA’s (blogging displays of affection) comes from feeling like I shouldn’t need to type those sorts of emotions  for the world to see and should say them directly to my husband.  But now that I am not privately journaling anymore, I don’t want to forget about the special “little things” he’s done throughout the week that make me puff up with pride.  

And really, I’m actually not so sure if I’m the one I’m protecting by eliminating mushy posts, or if I’m protecting you  from potentially “puke worthy” subject matter.  Since becoming a part of the blogosphere, I follow many blogs that are comedic and whimsical, so every now and then, when I’m visiting them for some lighthearted content and am hit with a heavy paragraph without warning, I’m turned off.  Getting hit with a dose of kissy face when you aren’t prepared or interested can be miserable.  Trust me, I GET IT.  I’ve been guilty of muttering, “come on people, get a room!” while observing romantic Facebook exchanges between lovers, so I am sensitive to the situation.  Promise.

Okay, so now that you’ve listened to this indulgent rambling, (sorry about that, by the way) I think I’ve got a plan.  See?  This really was like therapy.  I talked, you pretended to listen, and a solution was born from my own nonsensical blabbing.  What about if all posts romantically intended for the OBC are clearly labeled?  That would work, right?  That way, you’d be able to know what you were getting in to in advance and even opt out if you weren’t in the mood for my “George, you da man!” entries.  Stupid???  I’m gonna give ‘er a shot anyway.  Alrighty world… you are gonna see me not “wearin’ the pants” from time to time.  Scary….   (For YOU, that is.)  🙂

(Thanks again for the therapy sesh.  I owe you.)

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

1 Muffy Morgan October 15, 2010 at 4:14 pm

Can't wait!


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